Whenever I Fall
by Azreal Llywen
Summary: HunterXHunter fic. Involves Illumi getting into trouble later on. HisokaXIllumi. Yaoi warning. I posted this in the misc. area but I wanna out in in the right cat. For those who reviewed, I hope it won't be a bother for you to review it again :)


1.1 Whenever I Fall  
  
By: Azreal Llywen(  
  
Author's notes: Hunter x Hunter and its characters don't belong to me. They belong to Togashi-sama and its company. I just made this story for entertainment purposes. Sorry if it sucks because this was only made to pass my insomnia. No flames please but C & C are welcomed. By the way this is set on Illumi Zoaldyeck's pt. of view. Italized parts indicate situations Illumi did not narrate or did not know about.  
  
I never really knew what I've done wrong or how I ended up here. I have no consciousness of that whatsoever. All I know I am here because all I've known related to me either vanished or rejected me. I used to belong to one of the most elite members of society. I am a member of the Zoaldyeck family. Or at least was a member of it. No it wasn't my family's fault I became like this. You see my family were members of assassins. Our whole clan was ruthless killers from my great grandfather down to my pre-school sister. I loved my family and my siblings and I was pretty satisfied with its traditions even though a lot may not approve of it. But what I loved most is my younger brother Killua. I still remember when he would run away from home and mother would cry and get mad and would send me to fetch him. I'm the first-born you see so I was trained hard to be the best killing machine there is. Although Killua was the favorite because he had unbelievable talent and would someday take the throne of my father. I don't mind this at all because I can see he wasn't really a threat, if he wants to that is. My second brother Millky is very jealous of him because he is always favored and sometimes even my sister too. I just tend to laugh this off. I wasn't really envious of Killua even though he had everything and sometimes is a spoiled brat. In fact it quite amuses me. But sometimes I would regret why I didn't become like him. Killua never did like or do what the family expects from him. He does what he likes doing. Even though I would try hard to persuade him to the point he would get really scared of me, he would still insist of what he wants. At first I really hated this attitude because I always believed my brother was destined for great things, I was wrong. I now realized it is you who is supposed to choose your own destiny.  
  
I can still remember when I joined the hunter exam to follow my brother. I recall wearing that filthy disguise wherein I would have to stick my own needles at my face to make me look hideous. It was utterly tiresome and frustrating. I couldn't get even one good night sleep having that uncomfortable thing and dreading someone might recognize me. I really don't want to be recognized but I don't like wearing that either. But there's one time I was really startled by this certain person. Actually I'm not really sure if he was a person. And he was the one who changed my life. I met him in the dark tower at the hunter exam wherein passing applicants must reach the ground floor. It was fairly easy for a professional assassin like me to get through so I thought I would be the first. But then I saw this spiky-haired man dressed in a jester's costume, stacking cards. I become really intrigued thinking he reached the bottom in less than 5 minutes. How can he be that witty? I never really paid attention at first but I think a lot of the applicants feared him and I was having an idea why. I snapped right away when he turned to me.  
  
"Wanna play?" He said reaching out his deck of cards.  
  
"Excuse me?" I replied.  
  
"I was getting really bored so I figured since we're the only ones here might as well play a game."  
  
I just nodded since there really wasn't anything to do. We played a couple of card games to kill time but this time I feel something really different about him.  
  
"So you're here for the hunter license?" he asked. I just nodded.  
  
"I see, is that all? Then why are you hiding yourself?" This shocked me. How did he know? Can he see right thru me?  
  
"I am not." I lied. That was the only thing I can do.  
  
"Hmmm…. really? I don't believe anyone's that ugly. Especially not from what you're showing me." I just cringed.  
  
"Tell you what, if I win you'll remove that ugly mask and if you win you can name your prize later."  
  
I was really hesitant at first but then I agreed. After all, what can a jester do to a professional assassin such as I? Besides I was taught every trick in the book since I was little and I would not be matched by a silly card trick. At first I found myself winning. But after some time, I couldn't pick any descent card! So the unbelievable did happen. I lost.  
  
"So…I won. That means I get to see the real you." He said triumphantly.  
  
I sighed aloud before removing the pins and needles one by one that held together the fake skin and hair I wore. I felt the weight of his stare as he watched every move I make. My long dark hair flung from my shoulders as the mask slowly shrunk. I opened my eyes after removing the last needle and found my self, staring back at his slanted ones.  
  
"Isn't that much better?" he commented. I said nothing.  
  
"You know you really have such an interesting face but I said I wanted to see the *real* you"  
  
Before I could figure out what that meant, he took hold of my neck with one single swipe and gave me the deepest kiss I could've imagined. The next thing I knew he pinned me down the floor taking hold of me. Now this was strange because I was so used to pushing a 3-ton door without even contracting a muscle and here I can't even shove off a guy who's lying on top of me. I can say he was really fast because in just a matter of seconds, his hands were already all over me I could barely feel anything.  
  
"I see you're fairly new at this." He said. Now this was another odd thing. I must admit I rarely got out of our residence at Kukulu Mountain not unless I had a mission or doing an errand for my brother. Surely I wasn't unfamiliar with this because it is inevitable to find myself doing unusual 'favors' from some of my clients. But this was something I never felt before. He kissed me again as his hands got lower and lower undoing the buttons of my shirt. His mouth also got lower and lower tracing the lines of my veins. Now I was getting really worried. I remembered the hunter exam was still going on and anyone could just come barging in the door. What if someone sees me like this? What if my brother sees me like this?!  
  
"Shhh…no one's gonna see us. Besides, you look really…pretty." He said. It was as if he knows what's going on in my mind. Who was this stranger?  
  
His touching continued all over me. At first I didn't really felt it like it was just skin contact. But as he went further, I feel myself growing hot. I felt a deep tightening in my chest and a throbbing in between my groin. It was maddening. He stroked gently at first then it became faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. I flinched trying to make him stop but I only found myself provoking him to continue.  
  
"Are you ready? This may hurt a bit." He said. I said nothing but a muffled cry. What else could I do?  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." With this statement, he took me in. He drove his length inside of me. I couldn't describe what happened but somehow I felt torn between heaven and hell. After a few more thrust he pulled himself out and began neatly dressing himself. I was surprised on how meticulous he was. I too fixed myself up and acted as if nothing happened. While I was buttoning my shirt, he kissed me lightly one last time whispering something as well.  
  
"Hello, I am Hisoka you are?"  
  
"Illlumi. Illumi Zoaldyeck. A little too late for introductions don't you think?"  
  
"Nice to meet you, Illumi. You know I have a pretty good feeling about this."  
  
Surprisingly with that statement, another applicant came in. Just in time for me to fix my disguise back in place and regain composure again.  
  
But that wasn't the end of it. I figured since he made 'use' of me, might as well use him as well. Hisoka's notorious title earned me a little time to buy myself. Since no one would dare to come near him much about his affairs, I stayed near him most of the time. In this case I can remove my mask and rest for a couple of times. Sure he did *that* most of the time but I figured I can bear it more than a whole weak of suffocation in that ugly mask.  
  
There came a time at the end of the hunter exam when I have to face my brother Killua. He was petrified at the sight of me especially to what I have to say. I was really disappointed when he said he was in the exam because it pleases him and because of his new found friend Gon. I told him people like us don't need any friends because we use other people just the same as when we kill them. I figured he wasn't really sincere about this Gon person and that he only amuses him thinking it for real friendships. People like us don't need to show compassion because once we grew tired of something we dispose it right away so it is best for him to stay in the path intended for him. This upset my brother very much to the point he almost got insane. His friend Gon also became angry with me and tried to force me to change Killua's mind. Of course I refused. I wouldn't allow some kid to get the better of Killua's older brother. There was this time when I got so irritated that I almost killed him but Hisoka threatened me not to because he too grew amused at this boy. I was also astounded by his persuasion at my brother and I heard he even followed him to our dreaded home. Anyway I figured I couldn't do anything about that now. Besides I have more important business to attend to now that I had my license card.  
  
It was really no different than my usual routine. I still killed people and they still paid me for it. But now I wasn't living in my parent's house. This time I tried experimenting by traveling to places I've never been before. That certainly taught me a lot. Also I haven't seen Hisoka ever since. That was until I met the group Genei Ryodan.  
  
Genei Ryodan was a group of mercenaries and thieves. They steal whatever they want and finish anyone who tried to stop them. A 12-legged spider on his or her back marks each member. Hisoka was one of them, at least partly. I've known this because their leader Kuroro hired me to be his bodyguard and fake the raid for Genei Ryodan. My family was in this too. You see when I was hired; my grandpa and dad were also hired by the committee who was hounding the Ryodan. So we figured we could get all the ransom money and more by faking the group's capture and disposing the committee as well. That way we got all the money and the Ryodan got what they wanted too. When Kuroro and I finished our transaction, I met Hisoka and found out his motives. As usual he was in his bloodthirsty self. I was surprised he didn't forget about me.  
  
"Long time no see, Illumi Zoaldyeck."  
  
"You too. So you still remembered me after all this time?"  
  
"Of course. I wouldn't forget such a beauty especially the ones I haven't yet broken."  
  
"I thought you already made some other prospects."  
  
"Yes but it seems they're a little bit pre-occupied so I have to settle what's in front of me right now. I can't let that go to waste, can I?"  
  
"Oh so now I became somewhat like an insurance to you?"  
  
"I didn't say anything. So now that you're all planned-up as well, what are you gonna do after that?"  
  
"I…I'm not sure." He caught me on that one. I never thought I would be thinking on what I'm gonna do after all this.  
  
"Hmm? Since you're not sure, how about making a little offer for old time's sake?" he said.  
  
"What kind of offer?"  
  
"Something you can't refuse." I was quiet for sometime. I knew it would be like this from the very beginning. Of course I did learn something from the past. And from what I knew about Hisoka, he'll never stop until he got what he wanted. And from what I see now, he wants something badly. Trouble is, I want something badly too. And I'm not gonna be beaten by this petty game again.  
  
"So what do you say, Illumi?" he continued snapping me up from my thoughts.  
  
"State what you have, jester." I replied bitterly.  
  
"Well I was thinking, since the committee is gone and Genei Ryodan is secretly holding the auctions for now, I was thinking if you could get for me one of the greatest treasures the committee haven't befallen their hands into."  
  
"And what would that be Hisoka?"  
  
"I dunno perhaps a Gugenka item?"  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I was thinking that was the one thing they couldn't get their hands into and they would really want that. You see aura-created items are very hard to maintain especially when they are unattached to their creator. Certainly you need a great deal of skill and concentration to get and make one. And only a few chosen people can make such items. So what do you say, are you up to the challenge?"  
  
"And what would I get in return?"  
  
"You know I'm quite close to the committee just as you are. I could sell the item for a bigger prize and I'm sure they would give me absolutely anything for that. I could give that to you, you know. That is if you succeed."  
  
"How about you? I'm sure you'll get a lot from this too."  
  
"Of course I will! But why would you bother with what I want when you can already get everything. Plus this is your chance to prove you're the best. You know I'm only helping you out so you wouldn't say I'm ungrateful or anything. Fair is fair right?"  
  
"Okay, that sounds fairly enough. You got yourself a deal."  
  
"Good then, it's settled" With that he took my hand and shook it lightly. The moment he let go of it, I took off to find what he wanted me to.  
  
Before I set off, I met my father at the exit of the building. I told him my plan thinking he would be proud of it especially when I finally succeeded. But he didn't.  
  
"How could you be so careless Illumi? You know better than that." He scolded.  
  
"But dad, I thought you would be proud. Besides you told us to get what we want and think of the consequences later."  
  
"Not with those kind of people. I know those kind of people are more merciless than you that you wouldn't win against them if you're not careful. Understand I'm saying this to you because YOU are my son."  
  
"But dad I am doing this because I know I'm going to get what I finally wanted all on my own. I would get what was intended for me a long time ago. Understand I am saying this because I AM your son."  
  
"Alright, since I cannot prevent you from this from now on you are on your own. You are not to expect any help from your grandfather, your mother or me. Also keep in mind if you fail I would no longer regard you as my son. I would not tolerate your insolence to cause downfall to our family. Is that clear?"  
  
"I understand." That was the last thing I ever heard from my father.  
  
I knew my father was right about some point. Although I was still quite suspicious with the deal, I took it as an opportunity. I know Hisoka would benefit a lot from it too but this time I thought. I knew he sent me out on this because he wanted me to do the dirty work for him. He wanted to get the committee off his back from questioning so that he could savor his glory even better. I'm up to that. Besides, how many times could you find something that would give you everything and anything that you wanted with a small price to pay? This was certainly a chance to prove that we Zoaldyecks can be in charge of anything.  
  
I set off quickly to find the gugenka item. Of course it didn't lead very far from the city since there are many nen users around who are gugenkas. Honestly the only problem I had is how to preserve the item long enough for the committee to sell it. Hisoka was right about a pure nen item being defective once its user wasn't around. That means I cannot kill the creator right away so it was tougher than I thought.  
  
Luckily, I saw this artist who uses his nen to create masterpieces. Also what's better is that he wasn't aware of it so each treasure he made was encased in a protective coating hard enough to endure centuries without denting it one bit. No one could find something that valuable. But I didn't do what I was told right away. I discovered he was making a hollow statue to give to his son's birthday that contained all his treasures to inherit for generations to come. That was the thing I targeted. It was new and priceless and I know it would last for a long time. Perfect for something to drive a hard bargain. The committee would surely fight over this one. It took him a month and a half to finish his latest masterpiece and that became my cue for the trap I present. Since I can't kill him, at first I tried the subtle approach. I tried buying the sculpture from him. Expectedly enough he refused so I tried forcing him now. The next day I sneaked in his house to get it but he caught me due to the tight security system and him having sleeping troubles getting out of bed every once in a while. So I grabbed his neck and banged him against the wall threatening to kill him if he does not comply. Surprisingly enough, he agreed to give me the statue so I took off to get my prize. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. Hisoka did made other plans that made me regret I agreed in the first place.  
  
"So now the original committee is dead, there's no point in maintaining the auction. I guess this would be the last one." Said one of the auctioneers.  
  
"I don't think so gentlemen." Said a mysterious voice.  
  
"Who was that?!" panicked the group.  
  
"Someone who has a bright idea on how to keep the black market from going down." It was Hisoka grinning slyly.  
  
"Who are you and what are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying why don't you auction something else; something more valuable that would keep costumers asking for more. Oh lets say…like humans?"  
  
"That's insane! Are you saying we should auction people? Who would want that?"  
  
"Not just ordinary people gentlemen. Influential people. Powerful people. Someone so famous that anyone would want to call their own."  
  
"That's quite intriguing young fellow. And whom do you have in mind for this? I'm sure you could give us some idea."  
  
"Have you ever heard of the Zoaldyeck family?"  
  
"You mean THE ZOALDYECK FAMILY?! You've got to be kidding. They're probably the most ruthless killers in the world. Not to mention the richest. The notorious Genei Ryodan didn't even have a chance against them. Why, even their picture could cost you a million."  
  
"Oh but I have proof gentlemen." Hisoka handed out a tape and inserted it on the player nearby. He pressed play. There appeared the original auctioneer committee having a meeting when all of a sudden; a tall, lithe, longhaired person attacked them with large pins killing them instantly.  
  
"Wow! That was amazing what was that all about?"  
  
"That my friends were the last moments of the original committee faithfully ended by the one and only Illumi Zoaldyeck. He is the eldest among the young Zoaldyeck siblings which I can assure you will be the ticket to your eternal riches."  
  
"But how can we know what you say is true?" said one of the auctioneers.  
  
Hisoka handed out a few of the large needles that were seen in the tape in front of them.  
  
"I assure you gentlemen I didn't just picked that up. So do you need any more proof or are there any questions?"  
  
A long period of silence waited after that.  
  
"Good! So do we have a deal then?" Hisoka said cheerfully. His plan was working out so well.  
  
I called Hisoka at once to tell him I got what he wanted. He set to meet me at an abandoned arena found in the outskirts of York New city. When I got there, I noticed the place was ragged and torn. Probably from the barbaric warriors who fought there or the irresponsible people who didn't give a damn in maintaining the place. Whatever it was, it was filthy. But I'm used to that. I saw him standing at an empty post. I gestured him that I was there. He winked back and came closer at me.  
  
"So did you get it?" He questioned.  
  
"Of course. Pure, original and would last at least a century. Just like you said. " I showed him the item.  
  
"Very good! Well done! You could keep that now if you want to." He said clapping a little.  
  
"What did you say?!"  
  
"I said you could keep that thing. You got your end of the bargain so now I'm getting mine."  
  
"But I thought the deal was to find a gugenka item and sell it to the highest bidder." I was utterly enraged. I didn't think he would cheat on me with this.  
  
"Sorry I lied. You see there had been a few changes of plans. Instead of selling objects they would bid people there using them for servants, slaves or whatever pleases them so. And I do know a lot of people who would pay hard to posses one of the Infamous Zoaldyeck assassins."  
  
"What?! You're saying your gonna sell me to some perverted geezer who is sick enough to agree to that idea? In that case, you can get me over my dead body you cheating asshole!!!!"  
  
"If you must insist." He replied. With that I took out my needles and started throwing it at him. He dodged every single one efficiently. He too also took out his trump cards throwing it back. Not one of them hit me.  
  
"I just want you to know before I hand you out to the committee that I had fun after all this time being with you. Really!" Now this statement made me stop.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said I enjoyed you a lot. You're beautiful and interesting. Unfortunately we all must move on."  
  
"What are you saying jerk?"  
  
"I'm saying I like you but you're only a past time to me. You know I'm really after Gon because he was a challenge. Why, I would've gone after your brother Killua if he wasn't younger than you that is."  
  
"Now why would that be?" I was really enraged. I charged at him again trying to hit him. But he only chuckled.  
  
"You see unlike you, your brother does what he likes at all cost. You follow too much what is expected of you. Your eyes only see what you wanted to see. You think you can get what you want that effortlessly? Life isn't that easy you know."  
  
"I…I don't know what you're talking about" I tried my best not to listen to him and continue on with the fight.  
  
"Your father warned you about this, didn't he? And you didn't listen. So it's only due for you to pay now."  
  
"That…that's not true!" Now I was really beginning to panic.  
  
"Ohhhh? Then why isn't he here to help you now? Why doesn't anyone help you now? You're family knew about this right?"  
  
"I…" before I could even reply, he took me harshly and flung me across the arena making me hit the wall. I banged my head hard. I tried standing up but he pulled me right out. I was about to avoid him when he got hold of me by the arm pulling it to my back and breaking in. I screamed in pain but he only tightened his grip. I got one of my needles and punctured his stomach to get away. I ran holding my arm turning to see his next move. He paused for a little but I was amazed when he recovered quickly removing the needles that wounded him. I was really desperate so I attacked him thinking it was my only chance. He dodged my blow and hit my abdomen. Blood came out of my mouth because of the impact. He took one of the needles and plunged it deep my left leg. After that he kicked my other standing leg hard making me fall face down. I got really dizzy that I didn't even feel it when he picked me up and drag me to a group of men I presumed were members of the committee.  
  
"Your pride led you to this you know. You think you can have the whole world just like that. That's what really amuses me. That there are people like you who would continuously deny themselves just to get their own way." That was the last thing he said that I remembered before losing consciousness and being taken away by the committee.  
  
"What?! Are you sure about that Leorio? Now they're auctioning people in the black market?" Gon couldn't believe what he just heard from his friend.  
  
"That's true. I think they're gonna use them as slaves or something. And check this out; it's not just any ordinary slave auction. They are auctioning some of the famous people around like actresses, heroes, and even infamous criminals. I heard all about it. Since Genei Ryodan stole all their goods this was their stupid idea to gain back their profit." Leorio reported.  
  
"Well that's just sick! They're really desperate on making money this time." Killua commented before sipping a cup of frappe`  
  
"And guess what, I just got a copy on the people their auctioning tonight. Killua you wouldn't believe this."  
  
"Hmmm?" Killua replied.  
  
"YOUR BROTHER ILLUMI IS TOP ON THE LIST!" Leorio exclaimed.  
  
"What the…!" Killua almost choked at his drink. Every one of them was shocked to hear this.  
  
"Come on Gon let's go!" he pulled Gon about his feet.  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"To the black market of course. We're going to buy back my brother!"  
  
"Wait a minute Killua I thought you hated your brother?"  
  
"I do but he's still my brother and I'm not gonna let some old geezer take him from me. Besides, this will pay him back to all the trouble he caused me."  
  
With that the three hurried off to where the slave auction was held.  
  
Meanwhile back at the Ryodan's hideout…  
  
"Hey Machi! Could you come here for a second?" Hisoka called the girl.  
  
"What is it?" she answered.  
  
"You know about the slave auction being held at the black market tonight right? You know, to replace the thing we stole from them."  
  
"Yeah what about it? The group has no interest whatsoever on that anyway."  
  
"But I do. Could you do me a favor?"  
  
"Alright but it's gonna cost you."  
  
"I want you to buy a certain person for me there. Don't worry I'll pay for everything! Just as long as you get that person. So how much will it cost me?"  
  
"20 million"  
  
"What?! That's so expensive. Can you just credit that?"  
  
"Nope. Take it or leave it. Your choice"  
  
"Okay but can I'll have it on check again I didn't bring any cash right now."  
  
The auction began that night. I could barely know what's happening. But at least I knew I wasn't the only one being sold. I was sent to this room where I was to be prepared. On the way I saw actors, models, other important people even famous criminals. So they really took this slave auction bit seriously. I went inside the room forced by people who were serving the committee. There I was bathed, combed and groomed to perfection. Everything needed to prepare for the slave auction. Every one of us even wore a collar that was implanted with a detonating device that would go-off anytime the moment we tried to escape. I didn't really found myself nervous that time. There was no use for that. Although I did find myself anticipating on what's gonna happened next.  
  
The trading went pretty smoothly. Each 'item' was sold pretty quickly and effortlessly. A lot of people came to try out the new idea. So the plan of the committee did work the way they wanted. It wasn't long until I was the next to be presented. Actually I was quite overwhelmed even flattered at the way they presented me.  
  
"And now for our grand finale`, here we have one of the infamous Zoaldyeck assassins" the announcer said before drawing up the curtains and focusing the lights upon me.  
  
"Yes folks, you see it but you don't believe it. And what a fine work he is my friends. He is the eldest of the Zoaldyeck siblings, still young and agile. Trained to be an effective ruthless assassin but still maintain an appearance of a sleek China doll. Perfect for whatever your need of service…or even pleasure."  
  
I can feel the announcer's hand of my shoulder tightened. With this reality hit me hard on the face. I again realize that I wasn't being presented to be praised but to be reduced to an object to be sold at a slave auction.  
  
"Ok people we'll start at ten thousand can anyone give me higher than that?" The bidding started at first at low amount 10 thousand, 20, 25. Then suddenly went higher and higher until 1 million. Suddenly I heard a child's voice saying:  
  
"1.5 million!" It was my brother Killua and his friend Gon.  
  
"But Killua, you don't have that much money." I could hear Gon complain.  
  
"So what I'll borrow it from you."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"So is anyone willing to bid any higher? Going…going…" said the announcer.  
  
"2 million." Said a girl who just went in wearing a black dress and veil.  
  
"Alright 2 million is there anyone who can offer higher?"  
  
"2.5 million!" Killua interrupted."  
  
"5 million" said the girl.  
  
"7 million!"  
  
"Killua!" Gon reacted.  
  
"100 million" said the girl.  
  
"500 million!"  
  
"1 billion ghenis."  
  
"Uhmm…1.2 billion!"  
  
"Killua, we don't have much money!" Gon continued to complain  
  
"5 billion" the girl said. Finally realizing his defeat and bankruptcy, Killua gave up the bid.  
  
So I was sold to the girl. I was really surprised my brother fought for me considering how much he hated me that time. But somehow I was contented. I couldn't imagine the shame I had to face my family because my brother bought me from a slave auction in order to save me. At least I was relieved of that. But still I can't help but notice Killua's eyes downcast and worried for me for the first time when I passed by him. I moved on when the girl yanked my collar gesturing me to follow her.  
  
I continued to follow her until we reached a grand hotel in the heart of York New City.  
  
"Come with me." She said opening a certain hotel room that gave me the surprise of my life.  
  
I saw Hisoka sitting in the middle of the room playing with a leash.  
  
"Here's what you asked for. Now where's my money?" said the girl pushing me inside.  
  
"Here! Hey listen instead of paying you can I just treat you out or something?" Hisoka asked.  
  
"No. And since that was tougher than I thought, I have to increase the price up to another 20 million. Have the money ready by tomorrow or else you'll gonna answer from me." With that she left immediately  
  
"Now, now what do we have here?" Hisoka mocked while pulling me closer.  
  
"You planned this all along didn't you?" I said.  
  
"Hmm…maybe." I heard the 'click' as he attached his leash unto my collar.  
  
"I didn't realize my work would pay off sooner than I expected." He said before licking my ear.  
  
"Why? How come? I thought I meant nothing to you! Now this!" I couldn't help but raise my voice and weep at all the anger and frustration.  
  
"If it is any consolation for you, I lied again. You did mean something to me. In fact it was so bad that I just had to keep you all for myself, Illumi."  
  
I continued to swallow my tears almost choking at them.  
  
"But I won't tell that to you. You have to find it out for yourself. And believe me you will have a long time figuring that out." Hisoka continued.  
  
"Don't worry, people like us don't need any friends because we use other people just the same as when we kill them. We don't need to love and hurt like our victims do. People like us don't need to show compassion because once we grew tired of something, we dispose it right? So that's why we have to be where we are intended." He said.  
  
I felt him touch my face. I close my eyes as I felt him lick away my tears and agony as well as the rest of my body. I found myself drifting within him. This time, I had no pride, no family, no self. He was my world now. Soon I would be forever lost because he will grow tired of me. But I now realize that I was falling from the beginning. The moment I underestimated my brother, the moment I agreed on his pact, the moment I didn't listen to my father, the moment when I let my foolish pride get ahead of me. I was falling. I was failing. This was not the last, but it soon will be. Strangely enough he was there whenever I fall.  
  
End.  
  
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Author's notes: Okay now this was crappy! Sorry if there are any errors or you didn't like it at all. It's not really that easy writing until dawn when you have math lessons the following day. Anyway I would like to thank my Sempai for giving some ideas in the fic on those moments when my brain refuses to function. I hope you enjoyed it and as I said, R&R's are welcomed. So that was that! Arigatou! And Owari !!!!! ^._~^ 


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